What a Nerd Wants: 10 Things Tech Geeks are Waiting For

20 Comments

Everyone has things they are waiting for — for some it’s a Wham! reunion tour, for others it’s an Eddie Murphy movie that’s actually funny, or a personal jetpack like we were promised in Popular Science magazine (seriously, where are those things?). For much of the technology world, it’s a Facebook IPO, which we’ve been told won’t be coming for at least another year and a half or so. What are some of the others? Here’re a few we came up with — some tongue-in-cheek and some not. If you have any great additions to the list or thoughts about it, please add them in the comments.

* Spotify’s U.S. Launch: The music-streaming service continues to toy with the emotions of U.S. residents who are increasingly desperate to use it. There is even a website devoted to chronicling the anticipation of this blessed event.

* A Verizon (s VZW) iPhone: In much the same way that the magic “Apple Phone” (s AAPL)  was drooled over for years before its actual launch, iPhone users in the U.S. continue to await a phone that actually works — i.e., one that doesn’t use AT&T’s (s T) network.

* A Popular Microsoft (s MSFT) Product: With a track record that includes the “Bob” interface, Clippy and the recently euthanized Kin phones, this one seems like a long shot — but hey, people can hope, can’t they? Next up: a Microsoft tablet. Woo-hoo! (P.S. The Xbox is the exception that proves the rule).

* A Twitter That Works: Despite the millions that have been thrown at the social network, the “Fail Whale” and repeated ratcheting down of API limits continue. Possible explanation: Twitter engineers are using AT&T iPhones to keep track of their servers.

* Bill Gates’ Return: Ever since the “Monkey Boy” video, not to mention the lackluster stock performance of the software behemoth, there has been a rising chorus of calls for Ballmer’s ouster and the return of Emperor Palpatine… er, Bill Gates. Keep dreaming.

* A Google (s GOOG) Social Network: Yes, we know that you and your brother-in-law love Buzz, and your Aunt Sally is crazy about Wave. Some of you even know people who like Knol (which may or may not be deceased) and are hopeful about Google Me. Our advice? You need to get out more.

* A Chatty Apple: Look, Apple just doesn’t like to tell people things, okay? Sometimes it’s about Steve Jobs having cancer, sometimes it’s things about stock options or the real truth behind the antenna thing. It’s none of your business, so stop asking.

* Micro-payments: Remember Beenz? How about Flooz? Whoopi Goldberg tried to sell that one for awhile. The tech sector has been waiting for micro-payments for so long that the original plans involved using ASCII text and the Gopher protocol. Still waiting.

* Han Solo’s Arrest: The evidence is incontrovertible — Solo shot first and killed Greedo in cold blood in the bar on Mos Eisley. There shouldn’t be any need for further debate. Of course, finding the outlaw starship pilot could be difficult, but that doesn’t mean we should give up hope.

We’ll leave it up to you to decide which of these are serious and which are meant to be humorous. Let us know your favorite dreams-in-waiting.

20 Comments

onecallednick

As a tech geek, I’m offended.
– I dumped facebook 6 months ago when they switched to coal.
– The Apple assortment of gadgets is about as exciting to a true tech geek as a Veyron with a 55mph governor to a car person.
– Microsoft who? Seriously,
– buzz works great. in fact, that’s where I read this article from.
– Real nerds watch Dr. Who.

If you’re wondering what I’m waiting for:
-Some progress in the broadband industry. It’s 2010, and my DSL is still stuck at 768Kb/s upload speeds. WTF?
– a decent F-ing ARM-based tablet.
– a decent F-ing smartbook. What happened?
– smartphone prices to come down to a sane level. Paying the same amount for a 3.7″ smartphone as one would for for a well specced 15″ laptop makes no sense. won’t happen until the “subsidized 2-year contract” scam is abolished, however.
– a single shred of evidence that this tiered wireless data nonsense is actually necessary to maintain network functionality. I know there isn’t any, but it’d be nice if they at least pretended to charge a reasonable rate for their services (over OUR airwaves).

onecallednick

Real geeks don’t fork over their money to comcast – i mean xfinity – the largest opponent to net neutrality around. Not to mention their anti-union practices, and the fact that they were voted the WORST company in USA. Real geeks vote with their wallets and don’t support evil corporations.

Gazoobee

This is an article? People pay to use this site???? why?

out of the ten:

1) actually only a business person is waiting for the Facebook IPO, a geek wouldn’t care.

2) (spotify) USA only (I’m offended)

3) (verizon) USA only (I’m offended)

4) bad unfunny joke

5) (twitter) a geek understands “downtime”

6) (bill gates) no one but you wants this

7) (google social) no one but you wants this

8) (apple) no one wants this (also not funny)

9) (micro payments) hey, you got one right out of ten!

10) (han solo) a real geek watches star trek and couldn’t care less about star wars. Everyone knows that.

eideard 2

where eess eideard? where eess he? put him on here,now! double queeick i say!

Craig S

What is this? How about a track record that includes Windows and Office?

I’m not sure how anybody can be trusting enough to pay for a Pro version of this website when these articles are so far from professional.

AK

Solo actually killed Greedo’s clone. YEah, Palpatine did a great job on that one. The real Greedo is coming at Solo!!! lol.

Matt

Exactmundo! (9 out of 10 is not bad)!~D …I’ve only read about SPOTIFY but I know that, as a people, we ‘need’ it here in America! (For goodness sake – we invented liberty and FREE-dom!!!!!) Data want’s to be FREE! LOL!!!!

Michael P.

Lightpeak, cheap and available fiber network connections, a open or more open cable/satellite tv system so I can use any dvr or device I want without worrying if it’ll be compatible (and cable cards was so not the answer). Consistent 5bars from AT&T? Sorry I couldn’t resist despite not really having much of an issue with them.

Flooby

Google owns Orkut. It’s pretty massive social network site, though mostly full of portuguese and spanish speakers.

Conquistador

Re: Solo/Greedo – one was an iOS fan, the other Android. It’s just the cinematic equivalent of what plays out in the comments section of tech blogs every day.

Nick

Oh I wouldn’t go that far. Han Solo’s shooting was justified. Greedo drew first.

Mathew Ingram

The original video record shows that not to be the case, Nick. Alterations after the fact don’t obscure that a wrong was done.

Comments are closed.