As anyone who’s looked at any form of media today knows: it’s the 40th anniversary of Earth Day — the annual event, which was once about protesting and taking a stand to protect the environment but has since morphed into an excuse to sell eco-goods and send out press releases about the green-leanings of companies.
Yes, it’s good to support the environment, but as Denis Hayes, one of the coordinators of the original Earth Day put it to the New York Times: “This ridiculous perverted marketing has cheapened the concept of what is really green.” Guess he’s not planning on splurging on a Peat the Penguin. While we’re not about to go all aggro on the day, we thought it’d make it more fun if we had a beer, or two (and then a shot) to make the day a little more palatable.
Here’s our Earth Day Drinking Game, it requires: one shot glass, one bottle whisky, and one six-pack of Pabst. Please enjoy:
1). Take a shot if you got your hands on one of Disney’s 70,000 “Exclusive FREE Eco-Friendly Baseball Caps” that it’s giving away in Disney stores today. You have to drive your car to a Disney store while chugging 6 Cokes (keep the empty cans to hand over) to get one. If you thought you caught Disney being wasteful, think again, there’s a one cap per person limit.
2). Take a drink of beer if you thought for one second that Blackl, yet another black Google search engine that says it’s entered into “public testing phase on Earth day,” has any effect whatsoever on reducing the energy consumption of your computer. Back when the original Blacke (yes, the same url but without the “e”) was getting some attention in the blogosphere, Google itself punched a big ol’ hole in Blackle’s raison d’etre: “We applaud the spirit of the idea, but our own analysis as well as that of others shows that making the Google homepage black will not reduce energy consumption. To the contrary, on flat-panel monitors (already estimated to be 75 percent of the market), displaying black may actually increase energy usage.”
3). Take a shot of VeeV, if you’re ever heard of it. The Vodka company is touting a cocktail made with its liquor called the TREEtini, and says it will plant a tree for every TREEtini ordered in the month of April. If there was a hippy on Sex In the City, she would always be ordering this.
4). Take a drink of beer if a greentech company told you they were at the White House’s Earth Day reception today. About a dozen companies have told me about how they’re attending a private, exclusive event there. Not sure what’s going on there, but hopefully they’re all huddled around the draft of the Senate Climate Bill. Get that thing ready!
5). Take a shot if you want to blame immigrants for environmental problems. Wow, really? The Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR) sent out a report today that “explores the connection between immigration, over-population, and its detrimental impact on the environment.” I’ll just let them dig their own hole: “Some environmental groups like to pretend that this correlation does not exist. Overpopulation fueled by uncontrolled immigration – the root cause of most resource depletion – is unfortunately deemed too radioactive to discuss in some circles.”
6). Take a drink of beer if you noticed Google’s Earth Day rainforest doodle. Take two drinks if you half-smiled when you saw it. Take three if you pointed it out to someone and called it “cute.”
7). Take a shot if you know what’s going on with Burt’s Bees marketing agency and why it would think handing out fake beards on Earth Day would be a good idea. But I must admit I am partially won over by their online Burt yourself web cam application.
Images courtesy of Tammy Green (aka Zesmerelda)’s photostream, Google, Blackl, Burts Bees, Disney, and VeeV.
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