Ode to Apple’s Netbook Mini Touch HD Tablet Device

I’ve been reading all the rumors
Of Apple’s new machine.
Seems everyone knows just what it is
Although it’s never been seen.

Some say it’ll be a netbook;
That’s what Chinese papers proclaim.
Their track record has been spotty at best
But we believe them all the same.

Others say it’ll be a touch;
An amazing new device.
Stunning, breathtaking, typically Apple,
Right down to the asking price.

Still others say it’s a tablet;
The form pushed by the last generation.
Some people just can’t let this idea go;
It’s like rumor constipation.

The competition will laugh.
“It’ll never sell” they’ll bemoan.
Then immediately tell their engineers
To begin making one of their own.

Tech pundits of course will hate it;
They’ll nit-pick it and start naggin’.
But after an incredible blow-out quarter
They’ll scramble to get on the bandwagon.

Apple bashers will decry it
Despite features with which it’s graced.
“Who cares that it can cure cancer,” they’ll wail,
“When its battery can’t be replaced?”

Of course there will be cool features
Like only Apple designs.
Push a button and it logs in to the DMV
To erase all your parking fines.

The broadband features are many,
I can only name a few.
It’ll jam the wireless signal
Of the loser’s Dell sitting next to you.

Alas, this is just speculation.
No one really has a clue.
But that won’t stop anyone from bringing
All of this news to you.

Truth is we don’t know much about it.
Not the inside, not the screen.
In fact I think all that we know for sure
Is that Apple will say it’s green.