Dear Verizon: Let Me Fix That Survey For You


So Verizon (s vz) is finally acting like they “get it,” specifically asking people who leave their service if “the iPhone” has anything to do with it.

The problem with this is that by saying “the iPhone” they imply having the device just like it exists on AT&T’s (s t) network. But knowing Verizon there’s a good chance that wouldn’t be the case.

So I’ve fixed the survey, and offer it to Verizon free of charge so that they may get an accurate picture of whether people would stay on their network for “the iPhone.”

Below is the revised option Verizon should have on their survey.

The iPhone

  • But no Wi-Fi (You can just stay on our network, ‘K?)
  • And no iTunes Store (We have this cool VCAST thing, you’ll love it.)
  • Oh, and no iTunes desktop sync (“PC stuff on PC, mobile stuff on mobile,” that’s our motto.)
  • Homemade ringtones? No. (We have plenty of Muzac-like ringtones for purchase)
  • Bluetooth? (That’s never been our favorite, we’ll get back to you on that.)
  • The App Store? (Don’t be silly, you’re gonna love our BREW apps.)
  • Visual Voice Mail? (Sure, just like we do now, it’s a monthly charge.)
  • Finish activation at home? Download and install firmware at home? (Enough already! Our heads are exploding.)

I think that about covers it. Now let’s see how many people will check that box.

Verizon is holding on to a (fading) model where they dictate hardware requirements to the manufacturers. They do this to ensure every device they sell serves their network first, then their services, then the hardware manufacturer, and finally the customer.

The iPhone, as it currently exists, would never have been allowed on Verizon, and it’s debatable as to whether they’d even allow it now. AT&T made a bold (and risky) move in allowing Apple (s aapl) to change the rules of the game with the iPhone. It’s easy to take shots at AT&T, but they’re never given enough credit for that.

I left Verizon nearly two years ago. For an iPhone. I’ve never looked back.