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SuperSite FAQ About Windows 7 — What They Really Meant to Say

Since Microsoft is trying hard not to talk about Vista, they’re falling back on their SOP of deflecting attention to a shiny new object, in this case Windows 7. To that end, the SuperSite for Windows has taken it upon itself to become the “central location for accurate information about Windows 7.” 

While I’m sure they meant well, when I read their answers I can see that either the SuperSite was not quite getting them right, or maybe they just chose to use an awful lot of words to say something that could be done much more succinctly.

As a service to those curious about Microsoft’s upcoming OS — especially those still running XP Pro — I’ll answer the questions here more clearly. The SuperSite can thank me later, I’m just trying to help. 

Q: Is Microsoft working on an operating system after Windows Vista?

Yes. It’s just a shame they were not working on an operating system before Windows Vista. 

Q: Why Windows 7?

Seven is Microsoft’s lucky number. They’ve also hung horse shoes above the developers’ cubicles and require them to carry a rabbit’s foot. With all that luck, they can’t lose (though, admittedly, the foot didn’t bring much luck to the rabbit).  

Q: Is Windows 7 the final name?

Probably, though Microsoft’s marketing group is chewing on this one. It would certainly be original to name the OS after a number. They’re also thinking of naming it ‘Windows X’, where ‘X’ represents the roman numeral for 10. The combination of a number with something that’s almost, kind of, sort of, like a foreign language would be further proof of how cool and hip Microsoft is. It would also provide a clear example of their innovation in product names.

Q: I heard that Windows Vista will be the last major OS release from Microsoft. Is that true?

(**spewing coffee all over keyboard and monitor**) Heavens no! Without the Windows and Office cash cows they’ve got nothing. They’ll be coding Windows versions till you pry the source code from their cold, dead fingers. 

Q: So is Windows 7 going to be a major Windows version? 

Define “major”… They went that route with Vis–, um, I mean, with that “V” word OS. Let’s just say that Windows 7 will be major… ish. It’ll be everything you want it to be, but nothing more. Lots of new features, but that’s not to say it’ll have too many. Will be very powerful, but won’t grind a two-year-old system to a halt. In fact, in a recent statement, the Windows 7 Product Manager, Goldi Locks, was quoted as saying it’ll be “just right.”

Q: When will Windows 7 ship?

Well, when they ship it, obviously. More specifically, it will definitely ship sometime in the future. As far as you know. 

Q: What features will be included in Windows 7?

Too many to recount here. They’re thinking them up coding them as fast as they can. Trust us. However, Microsoft truly cares; they listen to their customers. They’ve already addressed the three most requested features: 

  1. It’s not Vista. 
  2. It’s not Vista.
  3. It’s not Vista.

Q: Will Windows 7 be available in both 32-bit and 64-bit versions like Vista?

Of course. The only way to avoid this would be to ship one OS version that can do both. Microsoft’s brilliant technicians have worked over five years on this and concluded that such a feat is impossible. 

Q: Will Microsoft release any Windows updates between now and Windows 7?

They’ll slap a few SPs on it like they always do, and they’ll plug whatever security holes they choose to tell you about (heh, they like having code nobody can vet but them) once a month on Tuesdays.

15 Responses to “SuperSite FAQ About Windows 7 — What They Really Meant to Say”

  1. IrvTheSwirv,

    Are you serious? You did know, didn’t you, that the OS underlying the Mac’s Aqua interface is open source and available for download by anyone, right? Yes, I’m talking source code.

    Heck, you can install it and slap a graphical front-end like GNOME or KDE on it.

    This is open source UNIX, and the fact that it is vetted (and has been vetted) by thousands of disparate developers in businesses, colleges, universities, think tanks, and even hobbyists/hackers is a HUGE advantage to its secure nature over the closed-source no-on-can-vet-but-us Microsoft OS. Period.

  2. IrvTheSwirv

    They’ll slap a few SPs on it like they always do, and they’ll plug whatever security holes they choose to tell you about (heh, they like having code nobody can vet but them) once a month on Tuesdays.

    Yeah, because that other Fruity branded company are always fully open about what security holes they are filling (so where are the links to source for OSX patches then eh?) and wouldn’t even DREAM of doing something like charging people for service packs would they?

    The MS/Vista hating is soooooo boring just fu*king get over it!!!

    (Macs-Great, Vista-Great, XP-Old)

  3. Lordmike

    I hope that they don’t call it Windows X as in 10.. would SP1/2/3 just rename Windows 10 to 10.1/10.2/10.3? Because I think I have seen something like that somewhere.. could be on my macbook pro.. but I’m not sure. ;)

  4. YellowSEO,

    They left the numbers behind when they needed a clear distinction between the “old” Windows (Windows 3.x) and the “new” Windows (Windows NT).

    Their plans to merge the two relatively quickly didn’t pan out like they had hoped, so we got 95, 98, Bob, and Me on the “home” side, and NT 3.5x and 4 on the “business” side. The two finally merged with Windows 2000.

    After that, while Microsoft carries a separate server line (as does Apple), for the home/business users they went from 2000 to XP, and then to Vista. They do have all those “editions”, but each one uses the same base OS name.

    Now that they really have just the one OS (not counting server) it makes sense to not think of some fancy name every time, and just get back to numbers.

    Or they could use letters. That would make this upcoming release Windows G. You know, as in “Windows, G, I could get a Mac instead.” :-)

  5. Tom

    I so happy they are going back to having Windows OS name instead of vista
    This Windows 7 was formerly codenamed Blackcomb and Vienna they hope they don’t end up calling vienna, vista2.0, honeycomb or Lucky…

  6. I got a chuckle out of this – thanks Tom.
    However, I then went and read the ACTUAL winsupersite, and found the truth is almost funnier!
    I almost feel bad for Microsoft – they seem to just have trouble not tripping over themselves much of the time…

  7. Hey Tom – I’m fine with it and as mentioned above I do think the post is funny – especially in the context of Pauls own headline posts. Maybe I’m just tired from all the Apple vs MS hating – it’s sooo the 90’s :)

  8. Jan,

    Again, you make a good point. For the record, the working title of this post was “Fun With the Windows SuperSite’s Windows 7 FAQ”, but I have editors.

    I mostly have something “serious to say”, but like to throw in some humor now and then as well. I do regret that someone expecting the former got the latter instead.

  9. I often read Paul’s posts and I do think he enjoys a jab at the Apple “fanboys” here and there – the only thing that got me with this post was that it wasn’t clearly stated beforehand that it is a joke. Paul does this with all his “Playing around with headlines” posts – it is clear from the beginning that it is a joke.

    I started to read this post thinking it has something serious to say and that is why I felt I had to react. And although I immediately realized it was a joke I still felt a bit cheated.

  10. Hit pieces only make yourself look bad. Paul Thurrott is one of the best Windows writers out there, and he’s doing a service to those interested, not writing a FUD piece like he usually rips apart.

    It’s hard to be an Apple fanboy sometimes when people like you make us all look bad.

  11. Jan,

    I understand your point, but it was just a little fun. Given all of Thurrott’s “Fun with…” articles I’m sure he understands.

    As for Vista, the fact is it’s better than XP only on relatively recent hardware. Lots of people stayed with XP (as I did) for performance reasons as much as anything else. Compatibility was a huge issue, too, and though it’s less so now Microsoft didn’t win any friends at the time by blaming all their so-called “partners”.

    If I bought a new PC today I’d get Vista on it, but given that we’re close to two years since release that’s not saying a whole lot. Microsoft knows their best hope to regain any OS clout is Windows 7, hence their turning up the volume on it via sites like Thurrott’s.

  12. No…

    Please stop all those annoying posts about how Vista is bad.
    I’m running Vista and have done it since its release. Nothing bad so far.
    As @Jan, I think that Vista is way more powerful than XP – if you use it right and have a computer that’s not 4 years old.

    I’m very soon going to buy me a Macbook Pro, but I’m sure still gonna use Windows. Though it’s more ’cause of I can help people (Mom, do you hear me?) to fix issues and errors.

  13. Can’t we all just get along? I think what Paul Thurrot (the guy behind the Supersite) was trying to do with his post is to clarify some stuff that is already out there about Windows 7. I am a recent switcher to Mac (and happy) but I still think that Windows can be great. You can go around bashing Vista as long as you want but it’s a solid OS much better then XP. That said – the post is funny and I’d take Leopard over Vista anytime. Let’s see what they do with Vista.