NOTE: I have changed the title of this post to clearly indicate it is a parody. I realize that the original title lacking a clear indication that it is comedy was in poor taste given the large number of readers who have been following my blogging of the hurricane events. I appreciate everyone’s concerns and offending any of you was the furthest thing from my mind when I wrote this. I have been under an enormous amount of stress the past 24 hours and my typical way of dealing with that is to create comedy. Please take this in the manner I intended when I wrote it and enjoy it. Heartfelt thanks to all of you who have been concerned.
Harris County Dispatch: Harris County Emergency Services. State the nature of your emergency please.
JK: Oh my god! We have an emergency here cause by Hurricane Ike!
HC: Calm down sir and tell me your name and where you are.
JK: I’m at home and I’m JK! Help us please!
HC: What is the nature of your emergency?
JK: We’re out of Double-Stuf Oreos! Help us, please!
HC: Sir, this line is for life or death emergencies only due to the storm. A lot of people need our help and we must leave the line open for them.
JK: But you don’t understand, this is going to be life or death! When we got our supplies for the storm they only had one pack of Oreos left and the kids have eaten all of them! We don’t have any left and it’s going to get nasty!
HC: Sir, if you don’t have a real emergency I’m going to have to hang up.
JK: But you have to understand! The kids are already restless after 24 hours with no TV! It’s getting very testy here and I just discovered they ate all the Oreos! And they were Double-Stuf Oreos! Somebody’s going to get hurt if you don’t get out here and it’s not going to be me!
HC: I understand now sir. We’ll have someone out as soon as we can.
JK: Bless you. Can they pick up some Oreos on the way over?