Blogging Ike- 911 call parody


911NOTE: I have changed the title of this post to clearly indicate it is a parody.  I realize that the original title lacking a clear indication that it is comedy was in poor taste given the large number of readers who have been following my blogging of the hurricane events.  I appreciate everyone’s concerns and offending any of you was the furthest thing from my mind when I wrote this.  I have been under an enormous amount of stress the past 24 hours and my typical way of dealing with that is to create comedy.  Please take this in the manner I intended when I wrote it and enjoy it.  Heartfelt thanks to all of you who have been concerned.

Harris County Dispatch:  Harris County Emergency Services.  State the nature of your emergency please.
JK:  Oh my god!  We have an emergency here cause by Hurricane Ike!
HC: Calm down sir and tell me your name and where you are.
JK:  I’m at home and I’m JK!  Help us please!
HC: What is the nature of your emergency?
JK:  We’re out of Double-Stuf Oreos!  Help us, please!
HC:  Sir, this line is for life or death emergencies only due to the storm.  A lot of people need our help and we must leave the line open for them.
JK:  But you don’t understand, this is going to be life or death!  When we got our supplies for the storm they only had one pack of Oreos left and the kids have eaten all of them!  We don’t have any left and it’s going to get nasty!
HC:  Sir, if you don’t have a real emergency I’m going to have to hang up.
JK:  But you have to understand!  The kids are already restless after 24 hours with no TV!  It’s getting very testy here and I just discovered they ate all the Oreos!  And they were Double-Stuf Oreos!  Somebody’s going to get hurt if you don’t get out here and it’s not going to be me!
HC:  I understand now sir.  We’ll have someone out as soon as we can.
JK:  Bless you.  Can they pick up some Oreos on the way over?


Kevin Hughes

Call me British, but this kind of venting through joking is only to be expected. Sure I was concerned for a second but that just made it funnier.

This is blogging, not an office memo..

Gavin Miller

‘thinks crappy Advantage pictures are good for moblogging’

The HTC Advantage takes 3 Megapixel Auto Focus Pictures that stand up well to comparable budget Digicams.


What do you expect from a guy who calls his house a manor, writes posts about burritos, and thinks crappy Advantage pictures are good for moblogging? There’s no standard in place here unless constantly stroking one’s ego is a standard, that is.

Now where’s Kevin? He’s the only reason I keep coming back.


Bryan, give me a break- this is giga omni’s house.. and if one of their residents wants to post fake 911 calls about oreo cookies during an emergency we can respond as we like.


Bloggers make whatever posts they want whenever they want. Just don’t complain that no one takes you seriously as a real member of the press. Remember this?–are-y.html
You’d never catch any respected press make such remarks (and keeping their job), but when a blogger does it, its okay because he’s not a real journalist. Since this is a blog though, its okay if you don’t like the remarks; just call 911 (but call it a parody).


Don’t go into someone else’s house and disrespect them.

This is JK’s blog (aka house) and he can do whatever he wants with it.


I think James saying “I realize that the original title lacking a clear indication that it is comedy was in poor taste” is an apology; not all apologies require the words “sorry” or “apologize”, as that’s simply semantics.

Folks, blogs are not the same as traditional news media. They do, and should, reflect the writer’s personality. If you don’t like that personality, then move on to another blog. And bringing in the Metrolink references is just nonsense; why not take it to the ultimate extreme and request jokes about the Holocaust?

The story is clearly satire, and the object of ridicule is James and his family rather than anyone else. The only people that should get offended are his family, who are clearly depicted as Oreo-loving maniacs. :) I thought it was pretty clever self-mocking humour, and in fact addresses some of the points that people have made in complaint about it. Those that can’t perceive that missed the point and should probably find another blog, in my opinion. (And they DEFINITELY shouldn’t read mine. :) )


I’m sitting here without power for the second day, and its probably easier for some people to call those who are experiencing misfortune as having a “stick up their butt” when they aren’t the ones suffering. No need to say “no apology needed” when no apology was given. I have never seen JK use the words apology, apologize, or sorry regarding something he said. You love to rant about your bad experiences, JK. Here’s one reader ranting about a bad experience with your post. Please take this in the manner I intended when I wrote it because I’m suffering too.


25 people died in Los Angeles yesterday in a Metrolink train crash with over 100 others injured and 35 hospitalized in critical condition.

Now unless you want your readers to think you’re blogging for the NOAA, I’d suggest you go back to your job as a “technology journalist”. Your personal circumstances are one thing, but using a technology blog to post what happens to you every hour is not what some would call appropriate.

Leave the news reporting and comedy out!


i thought the post was funny , after i’d nearly had a heart attack :) in context i think it was inappropriate thats all , lost power , then 911

and don’t you dare tell me i’ve got a ‘stick’ up my butt :)


No apology needed. You weathered out dangers beyond my imagination and kept your head. Blow off steam anyway you wish. I can only try to understand what you and countless others went through.

Paul, England, UK

Very good James. Keep your chin up. Is the dog still with you btw?

John in Norway

I’ve always used humor to get me through tough situations so I know that some people are too uptight and narrow minded to understand.

How’s your lovely wife’s sexy feet, by the way? Still dry, I hope.


My brother & I were stir-crazy kids during Alicia (we lived in Spring at the time). I totally get the humor here. My brother & his family are living in The Woodlands. They spent 6+ hours being pounded by winds and rain and flying debris, with 3 kids in the house and no power. Before the storm was half over, I’d already received SMS bemoaning the lack of electricity.

Believe me, after not much sleep and the stress of loud relentless weather, trying to survive in a dark home with no AC or TV can really get to ya. I’m sorry I can’t send electricity and a couple bags of Oreos. Hang in there JK.

[I live in Central Texas – we got zero weather from Ike since we’re on the dry side.]


While I could understand people who might feel the post was insensitive, I cannot understand how anyone could find it alarming… who on this planet would BLOG about an emergency while it is going on? :)

Christopher Welle

Some people can’t get over the stick up their asses and unable to understand people need to relax and release steam somehow.

As the famous Psychiatrist Sid Freedman of MASH says “Drop your pants and slide on the ice.”

Cody Blotske

Wow tough crowd. I thought it was funny. From the beginning I expected you needed more batteries or something close to that. Now that I think about it, I’m guessing you still have a few days of juice left :)


what an irresponsible post, had the entire panic of waiting for the page to load to find out this was a prank, believe it or not some people out here are concerned for your safety , and this just took the biscuit . lets rename this post , how to loose at least one visitor to the site

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