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10 Candidates for Extreme Makeover, Ticker-Edition

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Sun Microsystems is changing its ticker symbol from SUNW to JAVA in order to better reflect the company’s role in new network infrastructure, and maybe — just maybe — to give its shares some added juice. (CEO Jonathan Schwartz gives his reasons on his blog.) Here’s 10 companies that we think could use an extreme ticker makeover.

1. Apple (AAPL) to (JOBS) in homage to their feared and revered leader, Steve Jobs.

2. Sprint Nextel (FON) (S) to (XHM) since they are betting the farm on their WiMAX networks.

3. Qualcomm (QCOM) to (MMOB) since almost everyone is suing them, just like the mob back in the 1980s.

4. AT&T (T) to (IFON) because we all know what is juicing their market share and revenues.

5. Yahoo (YHOO) to (NOGO), which is short for Not Google. You could also take it literally.

6. News Corp (NWS) to (TOM) — after all, who doesn’t want to be MySpace Tom’s friend?

7. Motorola (MOT) to (RZR), because they’re hoping for lightning to strike twice.

8. Vonage (VON) to (GON). Yup, the VoIP service providers are falling like flies.

9. Microsoft (MSFT) to (LIVE) on Nasdaq and (WIN) on NYSE. It’s in keeping with their brilliant branding strateg(ies).

10. Viacom (VIA) to (SUX). No commentary needed.

GigaTeam had a fun time brainstorming these, but we’d love your suggestions. Help us out in the comments.

27 Responses to “10 Candidates for Extreme Makeover, Ticker-Edition”

  1. I think what makes JAVA so special is that it will have such a nice shelf life.

    That is a fantastic list!

    Mrinal’s BALLS for Microsoft would be awesome!

    NEVL for Google for obvious non-evil reason.

    News Corp would change their ticker from NWS — boring — to FOX or something else if they could bundle their “news” with the ticker.

  2. Wouldn’t it be cool if the exchanges allowed companies to have ‘throwback’ days, and companies could, for instance, honor a Web 1.0 competitor who bit the dust.

    So AMZN could wear the jersey for WEBV (Webvan) for a day, since Bezos is now delivering food. PETM (PetSmart) could be SOCK for a day, to honor the greatest business mascot of all time, the sock puppet. And Apple (AAPL) could be IWOZ for a day, a tip of the hat to co-founder Steve Wozniak.

  3. How about BALLS (Ballmer, S) for Microsoft and LIVE for Google – since LIVE can scrabbled for Google’s favorite word ‘EVIL’ from their co. slogan and would potentially make BALLS implode :)

    Great post Om – much needed humor in technology and business!

  4. sooth_sayer

    Alas you are too late in doing this .. 10 years ago I conjured the following for Chrysler purchase by Mercedes.

    DUMB – Dodge Und Mercedes Benz
    MAD – Mercedes And Dodge
    BAD BUM, CUM, PUB .. etc.
    This merger did produce nothing positive.

    Your list is pretty much on money … except Windows Live is Brain Dead, so I would change the symbol to DEAD as the stock has been for the past 5+ years.