Blog Post

The Geek’s Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the geek’s night before Christmas, and all through the house,

Not a hard drive was whirring, not a single clicking mouse;

The gadgets were charging in their docks with care,

In hopes that St. Nick shopped at Best Buy this year;

The geeks were all snuggled all warm in their beds,

While visions of smartphones did dance in their heads.

With a click and a whir there arose such a clatter,

As the PDAs and UMPCs began to all chatter;

A song they did sing to ring in good cheer,

In their sleep geeks were smiling for what did they hear?

Nothing, because it was all flash drives here,

And as they settled their heads back down in the bed,

They dreamed of the gadgets that might be colored red;

A Zune, an iPod, or an HDTV,

Could that be what they’d find underneath the tree?

As the geeks fell asleep with their eyes all aglow,

And the visions of electrons did come and did go;

With a whoosh down the chimney the gear did alight,

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!


Happy holidays everyone!  May you spend time with friends and family and appreciate these things that really matter. 

3 Responses to “The Geek’s Night Before Christmas”

  1. My favorite is the computer-generated speech version:

    Tweeze denied beef worker isthmus, winnow Trudy how’s,
    Knot agreed juries during, gnaw Tiffany moss.
    This talking swear unbided Gemini wit cairn
    Hint opus scenic (alas!) sinewy dare.
    Unjelled runner nozzle tools smuggling deer butts
    Well fissions unshoe kerplunks thence endear huts.
    Anemometer cur chiffon dyeing mayhap,
    Adjust subtle warp reins fairy loin winger snap.
    Winnow taunted launderer roast sachet glitter
    Ice brine bromide bet deucey woodwinds schemata.*
    Await Tudor widower blue lacking flesh,
    Door roping tier shatters untrue hump these ash.
    Demonian depressed often knew felines know
    Gaffe cholesterol metier due abjects elope.
    Wane wood tummy wandering ice shittah pear,
    Vital men etchers lay mandate tidy Rainier.
    Whittle it whole dolt river salival equipt,
    Sinewy mom aunt isthmus bee-stain nicked.
    Mere rabbit-torn evils whose gorses became
    Any weaseled end shuttered, uncool tomboy maim.
    “Node azure! No Dunce era! No France urine fixing!
    Uncommit! And cubit! Andante ran vexing!
    Toady tipoff deport chew detypify well!
    Gnaw dish aweigh, dish aweigh, dish aweigh awl!”
    Asked relieves dot beef forty whiled hurry queen fry,
    Wind emit wooden apse stickle, mountie-desk eye,
    Sew-up two-deep how stop duck horsers dubloon,
    Witty slave fallow toils, ascend nickel loss due.
    Ant tending at weakling – why hurt honor roof?
    A brain sinning Boeing effete shiney huff.
    Aside ruin mayhap untwist darning neuron
    Bounding gym knee-scent knick (alas!) game winning pound.
    Iwis tressed woolen furze promise etuis food,
    Anus closed whorled varnished wood asses in suits.
    Abound olived oils (egad!) flunk honor speck,
    Any luck lockup addler chest (hope?) nimbus peck.
    Assai Saudi twin calloused temples amore!
    Exchequer lachryosis, whizz snows locket jury.
    Estrual litter mouse wash thrown applique beau,
    Amdahl biered honest Genesis weight hostess know.
    Distempered ape pie pea yelled tiding is steed,
    Undies mocha answer cul de sac lackey reed.
    Egad! Abroad fastener litter hound bully
    Achoo! quaintly left, lacking bull feeling jolly.
    Iwis champion blimp — arrayed chilly wool delve,
    Any left whinney sow hymn, enspied off Moselle.
    An oink office sigh unto whist office hood
    Swoon gamey tonneau ahead knitting two tread.
    Ease poke naught award, Beduoin strayed duets orc,
    Infield eldest tuggings; interned witty chert,
    End lioness fanger a sight office gnus,
    Ant gibbon unknot, upon chimpanzee rows.
    Hasp Rangoon is lay, due esteem guava wistful,
    Ending weight day elf loo, lacking town ova tassle;
    Buddy herding explain air hedge rowboat design,
    “Hopping rich musty woolen due awl incondite!”

    The first 10 lines were in Scientific American August 1987 page 111.