The sky is falling!! (Not a Mac-Intel story)

For a month or so now, AOL and the Discovery Channel have been doing a little project on AOL’s site called the Greatest American. They’ve compiled a fairly big list to start from, with all sorts of people from the founding fathers to astronauts to – what’s this?! Bill Gates?! What???

What in the name of freaky purple demonic space monkeys is this??! The man who ripped off competitors’ ideas, used immoral and illegal tactics to push them out of the market, and continues to use his monopoly status to maintain his hold on everything, and to take over more – considered one of the greatest people ever?! In fact, he’s in the top 25… and they’re moving to the top 5 in a few days. Please excuse me for a few moments while I curl up in the corner of the room and cry…

Anyone who has voted for him to make it this far has done the equivalent of torturing small kittens. Why, God, why?? The pain is even worse when you realize that this man, er, um, thing, rather – beat out Steve Jobs. Jobs has talent for sales, marketing, and public speaking (“RDF”), where Gates has talent for…. um….. picking fleas out of his hair like a monkey, I guess. I dunno. Has anyone seen him do anything that wasn’t even remotely stupid or selfish? Oh, and he’s the same age as my dad. Ewwww…..

Please, loyal readers, help that man to eat dirt; teach him humility! Make him fear the days to come! Vote for anyone else on that list, except for, of course, Bill Gates. Heck, even Bill Clinton will do. (Ugh. I just tasted vomit in my mouth at that thought.) Oh, by the way, here’s the URL: http://tv.channel.aol.com/greatestamerican.

Edit: I just noticed that you’re limited to 2 or 3 votes. Use them wisely.

loading

Comments have been disabled for this post