When Worlds Collide: Transitioning Between Work and Home
For the conventional commuting worker, there is a natural transition time between being “at work” and “at home”: the commute. Time spent in the car, bus, train, on a bike, or otherwise making their way from work to home serves as a decompression period for these people. But for those of us whose commute is limited to walking out of the office door and into the living room, the lack of a transition between work and home is trickier to manage. What’s a hard-working webworker to do?
1. Engineer a transition period: Just like the start of your day when you do whatever it is that signals to your brain that sitting-in-pajamas-sipping-coffee-time is over, construct some end of day ritual to help you disconnect from the office. It might be setting your calendar application or Palm-Berry to notify you fifteen minutes before the official end of your day, so that you can wrap up your work, send all those pending emails, look at tomorrow’s schedule, and otherwise get ready to get out of Dodge. It might be that you end your day half an hour before everyone else is due home, giving you an opportunity to nap, read a book, throw the ball for the dog, or otherwise occupy yourself doing an explicitly non-work and non-family activity.
2. Set limits: Note the necessity of an “official end of your day” — by setting regular hours not only for starting but stopping, you keep work from short-changing home and allow yourself to have more energy for the important business of being reasonably cheerful for family and friends after hours. Another important limit to set is expectations for what non-work things you should be doing during and after your work day — often the load (of laundry, dirty dishes, what have you) falls on the home-based partner and that can lead to frustration on everyone’s part. Time spent negotiating that balance is time well-spent, even for the non-home-worker.
3. Make a plan for the evening: Planning your work day keeps you focused and on task, but don’t let your plan stop there. Mitigate the stress of having to feed yourself and others by having both a bit of a plan and some failsafe back-ups. If you know that you’re going to have a particularly tight evening, don’t be afraid to have the plan be “cereal and a movie”. Engage other family members in planning, too, to prevent surprises: make everyone sit down and explain what’s coming up in their week. The simple act of thinking about it makes people more aware of what they’ve got going on and helps avoid the last minute craziness of forgotten science projects and show-and-tell requirements.
4. Stop and start again: If you’re really in the middle of something, it’s tempting to keep pushing to get the work done and get back to your life. But sometimes you need to let it drop and be “at home” and not “working at home” for a little while. One of the reasons that webwork is so appealing is the flexibility. Conversely, one of the reasons we’re effective as webworkers is our self-discipline, making ourselves work even without someone looking over our shoulders. But here’s an important fact: someone is looking over your shoulder. It’s your spouse, your kid, your dog, and they’re as important as crunching that last bit of code out right this second. The work will still be there, and you can get back to it after dinner, baths, stories, and bedtime. Leave your rig on and connected, set your Palm-Berry to go off and remind you to go back and finish what you’ve left, but don’t be afraid to leave it for a while.
What do you do when the world of work and the world of home collide? How do you meet the demands of those closest to you and those who are depending on you to make their technology sing? Tell us.
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As I work from home a lot, I can say the hardest thing is disconnecting from things related to work. I generally spend almost the full day on work email because I don’t want to *miss* anything (even on weekends). I think the important thing to realize is that you need to disconnect sometimes, even if for a day only, simply so you can recharge your batteries.
When I shut down for the day I close my work laptop and open my personal laptop. My personal laptop is not configured to check my work email account. Out-of-sight out-of-mind works for me. I don’t really have any problem decompressing. I walk downstairs and “I’m home.” If anything, the commute used to cause me a lot of stress as I thought about all the stuff I could be doing if I was home and not stuck on I-95.
>there is a natural transition time between being “at work” and
>“at home”: the commute. Time spent in the car, bus, train, on a
>bike, or otherwise making their way from work to home serves
>as a decompression period for these people.
Wow, you so don’t know my commute. ;D
And I’m only half kidding. Great article though.
Hi Everyone!
After working online from home for the last 14 years, on my own business, I think the best thing to do is put your own systems in place.
For me, with children grown etc, there are less distractions, but I find it more difficult to “stop” work.
So, now I schedule break times (which are usually 20 minute naps) and try to make sure that I show-up for family time.
In the last 2 years, I began caring for my Mom. Even though it is not the same as caring for children, she still requires leaving my solitary online life, and I’m trying to adjust to having time for “companionship” during the day, and compensating some after dinner.
My husband usually cooks, so that helps get me to ‘family-time’ a little later and then I am ready to feel the day’s over.
I will do things differently when I have finished my business plan, and then I definitely will not work so hard. Being an entrepreneur is really a challenge and very different for what it would be if I was employed by someone else, but worked from home.
I really have to set boundaries, or I could work most of 24/7 and that would NOT be good, even if productive.
So, my calendar starts with daily checklists and I am paying attention to Stephanie Frank, “The Accidental Millionaire” about creating and using the systems I personally need. It’s a good strategy.
Best to all — Em
PS – “Everyone knows someone who needs this information!” (TM) Please visit me at: http://diabetesdietdialogue.wordpress.com
You are exactly right! I happened to think about it yesterday when I drove home from my job that will be replaced by my home job soon. It will require a home worker much more self discipline to maintain a healthy lifestyle with enough relaxation and exercise.
Let’s get out there for a walk on this lovely sunny day! And tomorrow is Saturday, time to take a break if possible.
Due to the nature of our business, I can’t really set office hours. I’m as likely to be providing tech support at 5am as I am at 10am. But I do see a need for me to personally pay more attention to #4, particularly when I’m not working directly with a customer and am simply working on admin stuff, email backlog or new interesting tasks. The work will still be there tomorrow, even if I were to catch up on every last item on my list today (which is bloody unlikely!). Sometimes, if I find I am really neglecting the family, I set a timer and make myself walk away from my computer and play with the toddler and the small son until that timer goes off and I can return to my virtual workspace. It’s better for them, and even if I’m not initially engaged completely, I ultimately find myself valuing that time with them, get a much needed break from the computer, and can also let go of the guilt I feel of neglecting my kids when I’m working (and work when I’m with my kids).
One of the toughest things for me to do, stick to a schedule. If I have work that needs to be done I’ll stay up late and work all the way through the night. But then I ruin my work ethic for the next two days while I try to recoup.
I currently work a day job and maintain some freelance work when I get home. This is no easy task and quite draining. Working on a personal schedule as well as a work schedule is vital. My issues lay in being confined ‘inside’, it is important to get some fresh air in more circumstances other than the times of travel from one work space to another.
I currently set a schedule for myself and try to stick to that as much as possible. My transition time is assisted by my dog – a two mile walk does wonders to clear up the mind. I guess you can say that is my “commute home.”
I see several “I can’t … ” comments above. Yes, you CAN. You CHOOSE not to.
You don’t have to stay in touch every minute of every day. You don’t have to allow people to contact you 16, 18, or 20 hours a day. You don’t have to keep repeating binge and bust cycles.
I don’t mean any of this personally toward any of the above commenters. I’m sure that if another set of people had commented we’d have seen similar issues. But let’s stop pretending that we aren’t making choices about our behaviors – we are. If you’re comfortable with those choices, fine. But if they’re causing you stress, the points in the post are good starting places. Work is not life – it’s part of it. Don’t neglect the rest because of fear (that customer might email me tonight!), overcommitting (but I only have 16 projects!) or the need to be always on.