One of my friends was astounded by Ozzy Osbourne(? maybe it was another minor celeb like him) who he’d met in person once 10 years ago. Ozzy not only recognized him, and pulled the correct name out of memory, but also picked up the conversation where they left off, asking about relatives etc. Ozzy was meeting people publically, and probably meets 1,000s to 10s of thousands yearly. He might not get to talk to every single one of them, but still – that’s got to be rather large. Even if Ozzy doesn’t have to devote time to ‘work’ per se, and can devote all his time to relationships.

So I think there’s a wide variability in an individual’s number. The average might be 150, and probably won’t go below 20 for mentally ‘average’ people, even if they don’t use their whole span. But conversely, I think there are some people out there who have *much* higher numbers, even if they don’t get the chance to use them all (limited hours in the day – e.g. Ozzy can’t talk to each person he knows, even if he can remember them, recognize them after years apart, etc, etc.).

Technology affects how quickly and efficiently I can communicate with a certain number of people. My limit, however, is not so much time, as memory. I can only remember details about the lives of so many people before I forget about them.

Regardless of whether I get those details via my blog, micro-blog, email, phone, in person, whatever — I am still limited by the capabilities of my memory to remember those details and recall them when next I communicate with a friend. And isn’t that one of the most fundamental criteria for a meaningful social relationship?

I guess technology can serve to remind us of some of those details (e.g. I can go back and review old emails to remember my friend’s boyfriend’s name and what he does for a living), so perhaps technology helps nudge one’s Dunbar number a bit higher, but I don’t think my number has significantly increased as I’ve come to rely more and more on technology.

Quantity is not irrelevant when you’re talking about Dunbar’s number; it’s a limit not some sort of goal.

I’ve always been much more of a fan of relationship quality. What’s important is my family, my best friends, a few valued colleagues. People that transcend power relationships or quid pro quo. Quantity is irrelevant.