Twitter, I have going through a TTS system, with my friends in the left-front, followed in the right front, trending topics dead center, and search topics take up the rear, conferences on the left, other interests on the right. This ensures my auditory capacity is constantly being challenged.

On my desk, a dazzling array of multicolored orbs indicate my server status, heart rate, caloric intake, current weather (windows? that’s software), project status, IM status, and how many people are watching my live feed.

I have also attached electrodes to my legs which give me a mild electric shock when I get a new email or im which has lent me an almost precognitive awareness of when I will be contacted next. These are rated progressively, so that an angry client message carries much more voltage then your common spam. Another array of electrodes are attached to my tongue, which, after some training, I can now use to read a stock ticker.

Finally, I have a fish eye projection of my netflix/hulu/youtube queue filling up my peripherial vision, the audio of which I have pumping through a cochlear implant.

All in all, I’ve have increased my personal bandwidth from 1 meg a day to what I estimate to be nearly 1.21 gigs per hour. I take stimulants when I wake up, and use sedatives to sleep, drop dead for 3 hours at a time. However, I estimate the total amount of information I absorb in a given day is around 25 gigs, weekly, 177, and hopefully by the end of this year, I will have taken in almost 10,000 gigabytes of information. That’s the entire Library of Congress up there, in one year. I’m gonna have one up on Google pretty soon!

Oh, I forgot to mention. I’m doing all this while operating a 20 ton motor vehicle that I drive cross country for a living….