I think the 3-D apocalypse might be coming. And here is one of the four horsemen: According to Deadline.com, Paramount Pictures will be telling the tale of teen star Justin Bieber’s life story on the big screen in 3-D.


If the 3-D apocalypse is coming, then this is one of the four horsemen: According to Deadline.com, Paramount Pictures will telling the tale of teen star Justin Bieber’s life story (with Bieber playing himself). On the big screen. In 3-D.

Why is this so ridiculous? Because, as we’ve discussed before, Bieber’s rise to fame came specifically via YouTube, thanks to his mother uploading clips of his performances for friends and family too far away to attend themselves. It wasn’t until after he’d built up a following on the site that manager Scooter Braun launched him into mainstream success.

This means we’re going to see YouTube videos, on the big screen, in all THREE dimensions. I bet that’s going to look AWESOME. I also bet we’re also going to hear dialogue like, “This kid got ten thousand views in a month?” “No, in a DAY.” (In fact, I wonder if Aaron Sorkin’s been approached to write it yet?)

And by the way, does it really count as a biopic if you play yourself? Was Lucas “Fred” Cruikshank not even CONSIDERED? For shame, Paramount. For shame.

Directed by An Inconvenient Truth helmer Davis Guggenheim, the film will include concert footage from Bieber’s current tour, which could be considered justification for the use of 3-D, especially when you consider the box office success of the 3-D concert films featuring Hannah Montana and The Jonas Brothers.

But there’s no way to interpret the decision as anything but a crass effort to take advantage of a rabid fan base who will happily pay an extra five dollars for the privilege of seeing their favorite teen star’s rise to fame through funny glasses. While 3-D can be a powerful visual tool when used well (::cough::Avatar::cough::), these unnecessary transfers may ultimately burn out audiences on the technology.

In short: Fans of 3-D film making should be picketing this movie when it opens February 11, 2011. James Cameron, I expect to see you front and center.

Related GigaOm Pro Content (subscription required): Are We Putting the 3-D Cart Before the Horse?

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