I’m fascinated by successful people, those who say, “This is how I want my life to look,” and then they go create it. I find them interesting because most people don’t live like that. Most people, myself included, settle. We settle, and we aren’t willing to put in the work, the “emotional labor” that Seth Godin describes in his book “Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?“
What Is Emotional Labor?
Emotional labor, as Godin describes it, requires:
- Working without a map
- Vision and the willingness to do something about what you see
- Staring into the abyss of choice and picking a path
Emotional labor is hard. I was thinking about that very fact recently, when I was asked the question, “What would you do if you won the lottery?” I didn’t feel like answering the question, and then I stepped back and wondered why. Was it because I think planning my future, my success, and my happiness on the probability of winning the lottery is not a good idea? Maybe. No offense to the lottery, but I’d rather put my attention and effort toward something that I actually have a decent chance at achieving. The real question for me was whether I didn’t feel like answering it because I didn’t want to put in the emotional effort in order to do so. That was a little scary, because it then made me question whether or not I put in enough emotional labor on a regular basis to actually build the life and business that I want to create.
How Do You Move a Mountain?
If you wanted to answer the question, “What is it that I want for my life and business (lottery or no lottery)?,” it’s going to take quite a bit of emotional labor to come up with a response and an actionable plan to make it happen. It’s going to take even more effort to get out of the bed every morning and do the work to achieve it. Penelope Trunk wrote about this recently; she said that “the most triumphant moments are the days when I have no idea how I’m going to fix anything, but I get out of bed anyway. On the other hand, the moments of huge achievement are not actually that hard to get to. By the time you’re close, you are so motivated to get there that it doesn’t feel like work at all.”
So, maybe that’s the answer. Moving the big rocks is actually easier than figuring out what rocks you want to move in the first place. In fact, I know that to be true. On the days when I’m disconnected from my vision, I’m floundering, and I’m not sure what to do, everything is a struggle, even getting out of bed. The real work, though, comes when I decide, “OK, I’ve got to get my mind around this.” I sit down and commit to doing the emotional work of reconnecting with my vision and figuring out my next move (without a map). That can take hours sometimes, days even, and it’s not easy. There are times when it’s very tempting to quit. It requires digging deeper and being brutally honest, but at the end of all of that, I know what rocks I want to move.
Then the work becomes unbelievably easy. All of a sudden, I can move mountains in no time flat. It becomes fun and engaging, and it’s amazing to see the progress I’m able to make and the passion and energy I have for my life and business.
Now Go Move It
Most days, we get so caught up in the habitual doing that we don’t take the time to connect with our real reason for being, the real purpose that should drive our lives and businesses. Connecting with that real purpose, figuring out what you want your life and business to look like, and deciding the core role you need to play to achieve that vision is actually the hardest part. Once you take the time and put in the emotional work to figure all of that out, the rest becomes obvious and much easier.
Do you feel that you put in enough emotional labor on a regular basis to build the life and business you really want?