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Summary:

In a bizarre story over at Ars Technica that seems like the plot of a terrible mafioso movie, a man named Gregory McKenna is claiming that Apple knowingly colluded with the Mafia (and various governmental agencies) to help them threaten him with death via his iPod […]

ipod-mini_suit

In a bizarre story over at Ars Technica that seems like the plot of a terrible mafioso movie, a man named Gregory McKenna is claiming that Apple knowingly colluded with the Mafia (and various governmental agencies) to help them threaten him with death via his iPod mini. According to McKenna, it is apparently fairly standard practice for Apple to add receivers and transmitters to its portable media players as a special service for organized crime.

Apple attracts its own fair share of wacko legal action, but this one is so intricate in its level of detail that it deserves a closer look, if only to admire the craftsmanship. McKenna believes that not one, but two separate iPods contained Mafia bugs. One, a Shuffle he picked up on eBay, makes a little sense, since it would be easy to tamper with the hardware after the fact, if the Mafia was really committed to doing so.

It’s the other, an iPod mini he bought new from an Apple retail store, six months after the model was officially discontinued, that vaults McKenna’s story into the realm of complete absurdity. The sheer number of steps required for Apple to have specifically targeted McKenna for the receipt of a specially modified iPod mini boggle the mind. I guess that’s what makes it a conspiracy theory, instead of a coincidence theory.

Why, you may ask, did the Mafia even care enough about McKenna to harass him so diligently for so long? He apparently once worked for a modeling agency which he claims is just a front for the mob. And he was so good at what he did, the couldn’t let him just get away. The Mafia is the one job you can’t quit, after all.

Apple isn’t the only defendant named in the suit. McKenna also believes that every law enforcement agency from the St. Louis PD to the Department of Justice was in on the plan, since (shockingly) none would take his allegations against the Mafia seriously. The suit also targets an auto repair shop that conspired to bug his car, and a private investigator who helped “cover up” the existence of surveillance devices by conveniently not finding any when hired by McKenna to do so.

In total, McKenna is seeking $14.3 million in damages from all the defendants named in the suit, much of which is accounted for by the $550,000 in lost wages he claims to have missed out on as a result of conspiracy effort. Oh, that must be the reason I’m not making half a million a year, too. I knew it couldn’t be my decided lack of marketable skills.

  1. This is totally and utterly absurd. This guy needs to get on some meds and fast, totaly wack job. It is amusing to say the least though, and I’d like to see how it pans out.

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  2. If Death Metal gives you nightwares little boy… Maybe you shouldn’t listen to it….

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  3. And he found a lawyer to take this case? I need to talk to him. My iPhone seems to (almost) always know where I am whenever I go into the maps app. It’s eerie.

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    1. Seriously. If he’d claimed he had a bugged iPhone, it might have been more believable. It would be a hell of a lot harder to prove that AT&T wasn’t working with the mob to track him via cell, wifi and GPS, listening in on his calls, seeing where he browses.

      In fact, maybe Apple can turn this around to their advantage by advertising to the all-important mobster demographic. They already have a slew of mob and mafia themed games on the App Store.

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  4. That’s tremendously sad.

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  5. There’s already an app called iBug.

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  6. [...] week opened with the admittedly amusing allegation that Apple are in bed with the Mafia. Apple has allegedly, and I use the word allegedly with the full weight of its meaning, colluded [...]

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  7. Good to see that we are talkking about Formal Clothes

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  8. Just so you guys know this is real. I bugged both ipods. We have our ways. Do not doubt the power of the mafia!!!

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  9. As private investigators we bug many device, IPod’s included, but to imply that Apple was involved is ludicrous.
    D ~ Private Investigator Denver

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