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Summary:

NOTE: I have changed the title of this post to clearly indicate it is a parody.  I realize that the original title lacking a clear indication that it is comedy was in poor taste given the large number of readers who have been following my blogging […]

911 NOTE: I have changed the title of this post to clearly indicate it is a parody.  I realize that the original title lacking a clear indication that it is comedy was in poor taste given the large number of readers who have been following my blogging of the hurricane events.  I appreciate everyone’s concerns and offending any of you was the furthest thing from my mind when I wrote this.  I have been under an enormous amount of stress the past 24 hours and my typical way of dealing with that is to create comedy.  Please take this in the manner I intended when I wrote it and enjoy it.  Heartfelt thanks to all of you who have been concerned.

Harris County Dispatch:  Harris County Emergency Services.  State the nature of your emergency please.
JK:  Oh my god!  We have an emergency here cause by Hurricane Ike!
HC: Calm down sir and tell me your name and where you are.
JK:  I’m at home and I’m JK!  Help us please!
HC: What is the nature of your emergency?
JK:  We’re out of Double-Stuf Oreos!  Help us, please!
HC:  Sir, this line is for life or death emergencies only due to the storm.  A lot of people need our help and we must leave the line open for them.
JK:  But you don’t understand, this is going to be life or death!  When we got our supplies for the storm they only had one pack of Oreos left and the kids have eaten all of them!  We don’t have any left and it’s going to get nasty!
HC:  Sir, if you don’t have a real emergency I’m going to have to hang up.
JK:  But you have to understand!  The kids are already restless after 24 hours with no TV!  It’s getting very testy here and I just discovered they ate all the Oreos!  And they were Double-Stuf Oreos!  Somebody’s going to get hurt if you don’t get out here and it’s not going to be me!
HC:  I understand now sir.  We’ll have someone out as soon as we can.
JK:  Bless you.  Can they pick up some Oreos on the way over?

  1. I think you’ve got a little too much time on your hands, JK.

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  2. Well that’s a stupid blog post…

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  3. we all need to went at times ;)

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  4. what an irresponsible post, had the entire panic of waiting for the page to load to find out this was a prank, believe it or not some people out here are concerned for your safety , and this just took the biscuit . lets rename this post , how to loose at least one visitor to the site

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  5. What a completely insensitive post JK, shame on you.

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  6. Wow tough crowd. I thought it was funny. From the beginning I expected you needed more batteries or something close to that. Now that I think about it, I’m guessing you still have a few days of juice left :)

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  7. I for one thought it was funny.

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  8. Christopher Welle Saturday, September 13, 2008

    Some people can’t get over the stick up their asses and unable to understand people need to relax and release steam somehow.

    As the famous Psychiatrist Sid Freedman of MASH says “Drop your pants and slide on the ice.”

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  9. While I could understand people who might feel the post was insensitive, I cannot understand how anyone could find it alarming… who on this planet would BLOG about an emergency while it is going on? :)

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  10. My brother & I were stir-crazy kids during Alicia (we lived in Spring at the time). I totally get the humor here. My brother & his family are living in The Woodlands. They spent 6+ hours being pounded by winds and rain and flying debris, with 3 kids in the house and no power. Before the storm was half over, I’d already received SMS bemoaning the lack of electricity.

    Believe me, after not much sleep and the stress of loud relentless weather, trying to survive in a dark home with no AC or TV can really get to ya. I’m sorry I can’t send electricity and a couple bags of Oreos. Hang in there JK.

    [I live in Central Texas - we got zero weather from Ike since we're on the dry side.]

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