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Dear Mr. Jobs, I am writing you today to discuss my future as CEO of Apple Computer. I understand that you have done a fabulous job with the company, resurrecting it from oblivion in 1997 to a well oiled machine of today. This is truly a […]

Dear Mr. Jobs,

I am writing you today to discuss my future as CEO of Apple Computer. I understand that you have done a fabulous job with the company, resurrecting it from oblivion in 1997 to a well oiled machine of today. This is truly a reflection of your leadership, and I am sincerely delighted to continue this pace.

As you may or may not know, I’ve studied your leadership tactics acutely. Last year the speech given at the Stanford Stadium was a stroke of genius, while a candid reflection on how life has shaped you. The transcript provided me with an interior perspective to life as CEO of Apple.

I believe in the ideas that Apple has brought to the industry. To create a company is an easy task, to make it part of American culture is astounding. That’s where I feel that I could step in and take Apple in the direction that will keep the industry on its toes.

As CEO, I believe that Apple can continue to gain market share by embracing open standards and contributing to new ones. The Internet is the next software platform, capable and ready for Apple to innovate with. A rich platform like Mac OS X, and the internally discussed X1 technologies, require an innovator and thinker such as myself. I know what people want to do on their computers, and it is in yours and mine to bring them to life. I hope you find this letter well, and we shall talk once I leave Microsoft.

Sincerely,

Willam Gates

By Todd Baur
  1. REPLY:

    Dear Mr. Gates,

    I wish to thank you for your letter of intent. We also thank you for your resumé, which we reviewed with interest. Apple Computers is a company that prides itself as a market leader in revolutionizing how technology is used in our society, and we are seeking persons who possess a portfolio of innovation. Unfortunately, we fail to see this key element in your previous employment.

    However, we are impressed with your capabilities in some of the business solution projects that you have overseen. We would be happy to discuss a role in assisting our team in these areas. We offer a congenial work environment, with opportunity for advancement, and a generous pay and benefit package. Should you wish to discuss these opportunities, please contact our human resources department for an interview.

    Regards,

    Steven Jobs

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  2. are we not in September? I am sure this is not the first of April.

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  3. This is “SNL” hilarious – hahahaha! Thanks, I needed that (this)!

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  4. Dear Mr. Gates,

    We thank you for you interest in our company. Unfortunantly we do not require a copycat at this moment. Altough we watch with interest to you resume we do not have any opertunity for you available.

    Thank you for your Interest.

    Steve Jobs.

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  5. Dear Mr. Jobs-

    It’s good to see that the $150 million we gave you to bail you out back in 1997 went to good use.

    -bill

    http://www.microsoft.com/presspass/press/1997/Aug97/MSMACpr.mspx

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  6. Yeah really funny,
    What are you, 5 years old?

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  7. Ok since no one seemed to catch what I was suggesting, I’ll put it out there plainly. As Mr. Gates exits out of Microsoft and it seems Jobs is on the outs of Apple as well, what if they switched roles? I came up with the idea that Gates sent his cover letter to Jobs, and this is what it might read like.

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  8. BillG needs to learn his history.

    Apple had billions in the bank then, and the $150M was a PR thing, no more (and MS sold that non-voting stock at a tidy profit). The real news that day was the signed agreement that Office would be released for Macs over the next 5 years at least.

    Sorry to respond to the troll…

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  9. re:…” and it seems Jobs is on the outs of Apple as well”

    Oh really…. where are you getting this from. is there a coup in the works?

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