Every year the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest solicits the worst opening lines for a novel in salute to the phrase made famous by Snoopy- "it was a dark and stormy night". Writers submit their entries from all over the globe and each year the "best" are chosen and published. This year’s winners have been acknowledged and their entries published on this web site so if you are in the mood for some funny writing don’t miss it. I mean these are bad, so bad that they are often hilarious. Take the winning entry for example:
As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.