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Summary:

For a month or so now, AOL and the Discovery Channel have been doing a little project on AOL’s site called the Greatest American. They’ve compiled a fairly big list to start from, with all sorts of people from the founding fathers to astronauts to – […]

For a month or so now, AOL and the Discovery Channel have been doing a little project on AOL’s site called the Greatest American. They’ve compiled a fairly big list to start from, with all sorts of people from the founding fathers to astronauts to – what’s this?! Bill Gates?! What???

What in the name of freaky purple demonic space monkeys is this??! The man who ripped off competitors’ ideas, used immoral and illegal tactics to push them out of the market, and continues to use his monopoly status to maintain his hold on everything, and to take over more – considered one of the greatest people ever?! In fact, he’s in the top 25… and they’re moving to the top 5 in a few days. Please excuse me for a few moments while I curl up in the corner of the room and cry…

Anyone who has voted for him to make it this far has done the equivalent of torturing small kittens. Why, God, why?? The pain is even worse when you realize that this man, er, um, thing, rather – beat out Steve Jobs. Jobs has talent for sales, marketing, and public speaking (“RDF”), where Gates has talent for…. um….. picking fleas out of his hair like a monkey, I guess. I dunno. Has anyone seen him do anything that wasn’t even remotely stupid or selfish? Oh, and he’s the same age as my dad. Ewwww…..

Please, loyal readers, help that man to eat dirt; teach him humility! Make him fear the days to come! Vote for anyone else on that list, except for, of course, Bill Gates. Heck, even Bill Clinton will do. (Ugh. I just tasted vomit in my mouth at that thought.) Oh, by the way, here’s the URL: http://tv.channel.aol.com/greatestamerican.

Edit: I just noticed that you’re limited to 2 or 3 votes. Use them wisely.

  1. Well, I much prefer apple over MSFT and I love the way that steve is running apple (they are doing a much better job than MSFT) but I can see why he got that high. No offense to steve or anything, but how much actual nitty gritty work did he do for apple other than be an designers eye and pr person. I mean when you think about it, Bill gates coded alot of windows and such.

    I would much rather see steve there than bill gates (never bill clinton :D).. but i can see why he got that high. Not saying I agree with it, but i can definately see why.

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  2. “The man who ripped off competitors’ ideas, used immoral and illegal tactics to push them out of the market, and continues to use his monopoly status to maintain his hold on everything,”

    That’s what being American is all about, Charlie Brown.

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  3. It couldn’t be about the billions of dollars he donates to charitable causes, could it?

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  4. Jason Terhorst Thursday, June 16, 2005

    Except for the fact that those monies make their way through the foundation that he heads, which donates computers to schools and organizations, but only on the condition that they agree to not buy Macs.
    There have been a couple large school districts here in the US that turned down a rediculous number of Macs that were being given to them for free, simply because the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation offered them some scratch. But, “Windows only” they said.

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  5. I’m thinking more like the funds for AIDS research and such.

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  6. How do you drive up traffic to a crappy contest web site?

    Stick a controversial entry way at the top of the contest so everybody tries to vote said controversial entry down.

    Marketing / Advertising / Promotion 101 .

    With that said, i’m spending my 3 votes on Bush. hooh-hah-hah. >:)

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